The Big Picture

I love being my sons dad. I wanted to be a dad since I was a kid myself. I married at 24 years old. Later, we planned and had a beautiful baby boy. 

Although intentions were good, things didn't work out quite as planned and we divorced. Maybe we were too young, maybe I could have been a more mature husband, maybe our interests grew apart, maybe the doubled up police officer thing was not good for us, maybe a lot of things but we didn't work out. 

Our son has always been our world and we ensured his needs were and always will be at the front of everything we do. We have one of the rarest situations around. We work hard to communicate and sometimes we drive each other bonkers, we refuse to lose our patience. The bigger picture stares us in the faces and that is our little boy. 

We are several years into our divorce and have fine tuned our familiarity with two households, balancing careers, our sons needs, free time, time with him, communicating, ensuring our son is happy and confident with himself. I have a beautiful girlfriend of two years. My ex wife has remarried a fellow police officer. He is a really good and kind man and seeing him make her so happy makes my respect for him even higher. 

I am amazed continually by our abilities to work together like this. There really are no words for what we have created. We have a very happy little boy. He is happy to have two houses, an SUV, a big truck, a car, two extra amazing grandparents, more holiday celebrations, more hugs, more phone calls, and so much more that regardless of debate on the best family situation, he is proud of his situation. As parents, we all just want our kids to be happy. We want our kids to step out into the world each day with a smile, with their chin up, and with their chest out. We have helped make this happen. Our son is an optimist and it is evident and obvious even at 7 years old. He has shown himself to have resilience that is rare. How has shown wisdom for his age and an old soul.

We all often go to events together. Imagine that! His mom, stepdad, dad, dad's girlfriend, and a bright eyed little boy that loves us all so much. One of my favorite things is for his stepdad and I to each walk alongside our son as we each hold his hands. We lift him in the air. We are both weight lifters and he must feel so safe alongside us both. His mom is the police and he is so proud of that. We are the police and he is so proud of that too. 

I am so blessed that we have been able to make our situation ok. This could have been a disaster. This happy boy could have been sad. I could have been sad. His mom could have been sad. I could not be more proud of us all. Life does not always go as planned. Frankly, life sometimes goes completely the opposite as planned. I am just beaming from my heart that we have created a situation that makes us all whole. It could have been very different. 

As our sons stepdad and I lift our son higher. A big hand from each of us grasping and holding onto his tiny hand. As we volunteer at his school, drive him to school, tease his mom in simple ways via text as I act like the old vet that knows a few things more about marriage yet I never spoil anything. As our son grows and his smile grows. There is nothing as important in this world as our kids. 

I am so glad to have the situation exactly as it is. Life is never easy and the trials and tribulations are constant. The feelings of worry and stress are just part of this grownup thing. I am just glad that my team is committed to our mission to raise an amazing and well adjusted little boy. Along with that mission is that we all ensure we can smile and continue forward without making things even harder on one another. Blessed. 

Kyle